20 Mar My Story

My passion for wanting to help other women came from the challenges and struggles I experienced as an aspiring entrepreneur. Becoming a mum to two gorgeous little humans whilst building a skincare company from the ground up gave me incredible experiences that I never thought possible, but it also put me through some extremely tough life lessons.

By far the biggest lesson I had to learn from this journey so far was that Self-Care is critical, a non-negotiable and lifesaving and the golden nugget in all of it was that until you learn to truly take care of yourself first and love who you are, flaws and all, life will feel totally out of alignment, hard, stressful and draining. It all starts with you and the state of your energy.

I had got completely caught up in the whirlwind of excitement, busyness, stress, pressure and overwhelm to “do it all” and be successful in both my personal life and business that it all eventually became too much to cope with. I completely underestimated just how important taking care of me was in the success of my business and life. I had a belief that to be a good person and a successful person you need to sacrifice a lot. Work extra hard and never be “lazy”- that included sacrificing doing things that were just for me including taking time out to rest and exercise- because in my eyes that was selfish when there were so many other things higher on the priority list!  (oh, how wrong I was!!!)

I spent decades running on pressure and anxiety, never allowing myself to truly rest and recover – even if my body was resting my mind never was. This goes right back to when I was in Primary School. I have always been a high achiever and pushed myself constantly- always seeking the next challenge and needing to do everything to perfection. It became worse when I became a mum, and I struggled with severe Post Natal Anxiety (although I wasn’t aware at the time that that’s what it was). My skincare business was born from all my anxious energy- instead of allowing myself to sit with it and process it on a deeper level, I distracted myself but immersing myself in creating this little business. It certainly isn’t a bad thing using your anxious energy in healthy and creative ways. If I never had that anxious energy, maybe my little entrepreneurial business may never have been born, but not acknowledging and dealing with my anxiety by learning tools and strategies to calm it wasn’t a good thing. Squashing feelings and stress down is never a good idea- it will always end up coming up in some form and often shows up as dis-ease in the body.

The pivotal change moment came as my business was at all all time high- it was growing fast, and I was stuck in a constant cycle of pressure and busyness, feeling like I could never get on top of my never-ending to-do list. At this same time my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and not long after that my husband was diagnosed with PTSD. The super woman I thought I was soon found herself smacked down with debilitating Anxiety and Adrenal Fatigue. The fatigue and anxiety were relentless- it took the best part of 12 months to slowly start to recover.

Even at my lowest point I found myself doing what I always did and that was try and push through – push harder! After all, I had a young family that needed me and a business to run. But this time that old survival technique was not going to work. I found myself with severe anxiety to the point of mini panic attacks, I lost all self-confidence – I had trouble even answering the phone and going to drop the kids off at school. It felt like my head was stuck in a heavy fog constantly and no matter how much sleep I had I didn’t wake up feeling refreshed. I couldn’t make decisions, and I felt lost, directionless, passionless. I was just numb. The guilt I felt for having put so much energy into building and growing my business and not being as emotionally and mentally present with my family and especially my kids while they were little was tearing my heart into pieces. This realisation broke me! You don’t get that time back. I started resenting my business and all the hard work and sacrifice I made – which turned into frustration and anger.

I was terrible at asking for help because I believed it was a sign of weakness. I had “rushing woman” syndrome, everything I did seemed have a sense of pressure and urgency, like time was against me.  I was always “busy”- I wore busy like a badge of honour.  I couldn’t allow myself time to be still, relax and enjoy a cuppa or watch a movie- I’d quickly get agitated with myself for not being productive- with my nervous system running high in fight or flight all the time it’s no wonder I had trouble relaxing! And God forbid I go and do something pampering and nurturing for myself like have a massage. I felt lazy and guilty for doing so. Plus, I really didn’t have “time”. I had way too much work to do with my business growing and demanding so much from me, as well as try and be a good mum, wife, daughter and friend, keep the house in order and food on the table. My to-do list was never ending. I didn’t know it at the time but underneath all of this was an underlying belief that I wasn’t ENOUGH.

My world as I knew it came crashing down as I started to “let go” of how I thought my life should be and started to slow down long enough to listen to the whispers of my soul and find beauty in living a slow and more simple life. I had over-complicated things for far too long! 

Burn Out was the greatest gift I could have been given. I went through a complete “death and rebirth” as a result which changed my life forever for the better.

It was scary to make the changes I needed to, and it took a hell of a lot of courage, but my family deserved the best of me, not what was left of me.

This was a real Soul Awakening for me. 

So where did I start? I started to make myself a priority again and I began to make Self-care and Self-love my new way of life. I began to fill my cup up which for far too long had been running on below empty. This took me on a long journey of self-healing, letting go of so many conditioned parts of myself and evolving to become a more empowered, conscious and aligned version. It certainly wasn’t an easy process, but it has all been worth it. I am now living my life with so much more balance, joy, inner peace and flow. Taking care of myself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually changed my energy and totally changed my life.

I now honour my needs for plenty of alone time to rest and recharge. I say no more often than I say yes because healthy boundaries are essential to keeping my energy in check. I make a conscious daily effort to move my body gently, I surround myself with positive things that remind me daily to keep my thoughts positive and nurturing. I’m happier living a slower and simpler life. My needs and my families need come first over anything- no job or business in this world will make me sacrifice our health and happiness.

Because of this change, my skincare business transformed and blossomed in a whole new light. I was able to create my beautiful Self-Care Affirmation Card Deck to help empower other women on their journey back to self-care and self-love and then sell the skincare business so that I could step up onto a new path, empowering as many women as I can with the same knowledge and self-care tools for making life easier.

Make Self-care and Self-Love a way of life and I promise you, life will feel so much more joyful, and it will also feel so much easier. Be patient with your needs, kind with your thoughts and words and respectful of your body. Practice gratitude daily. Breathe deeply, relax and stay in the present moment. All we have is the here and now. Get more sleep, laugh more and do something every day that lights up your soul. Self-care is the key to making life easier!

What is Self-care?

Self-care is looking after your WHOLE SELF. It’s taking care of your mind, thoughts and beliefs. It’s taking care of your emotions, your spiritual health, and your physical health. The health and happiness of your mind, body and spirit depend on your self-care practices. Self-care is not just taking a bath and having a massage and it’s not something that should make us feel guilty or selfish. Practicing self-care is not about adding more things to your already never-ending to-do list and it certainly shouldn’t be an emergency response plan when stress has become overwhelming.

Self-care is about identifying your essential needs and prioritising them. It’s about creating healthy habits and behaviours that nurture and recharge our energy and soul daily so that we don’t ever reach the detrimental state of total exhaustion and depletion on all levels of our being, that I believe is the root cause of so much dis-ease.

When we take care of ourselves first, we can give our best to those around us. This healthy habit not only has a positive energetic effect on us, but it also creates a ripple effect on everyone around us. It all starts with you.

I want you to realise how precious you truly are and know that you are ENOUGH just as you are and that you are WORTH taking care of.

Big warm hugs,

Peta-Maree xx

“If you are feeling chronic resentment, exhaustion, irritability, low sex drive, insomnia, low self-esteem, loneliness, feeling overburdened, rage, over eating and the desire to leave your life behind….. try Extreme Self Care! “Extreme Self-care is the prescription that treats the source of the problem, not the symptom.” Cheryl Richardson